MY ADVICE FOR THE YOUNG PEOPLE

Adopt a habit which is ideologically unsound to your "friends." Indulge often.

Enroll in a state university immediately after finishing high school, no matter what your instincts tell you.

Choose one of two sides and cling to it doggedly.

Invest your money in the latest top-of-the-line technological products. They will never be bettered.

People love to be imitated.

Set fires when you're lonely.

Confuse hedonism with revolution. Drink fast.

When adversity approaches, excuse yourself and find the nearest restroom.