HELP ME ... I'M POSSESSED

Help Me...I'm Possessed has the logic of something written by children, but its wealth of psychosexual kinks renders it unfit for youngsters. The plot manages to meander and remain utterly static at the same time, and leans heavily on genre-standard whippings, beheadings, and dismemberment for its cheap thrills. New lows in low-budget special effects are reached whenever the mad doctor's monster (which looks like a mop dipped in cranberry juice) attacks the hapless, gore-spattered cast members. Exterior "castle" sets appear to have been shot at a putt-putt golf course; flimsy stage flats painted with rectangles suggest sturdy stone walls. Screenwriter and star William Greer gnashes his teeth and seethes with bad vibes in a truly jarring performance as the mad Dr. Blackwood. Much of the cast is professionally adequate, even if none of them seem to know what's going on. Pierre Agostino is suitably creepy as a mute, one-eyed chauffeur, and might be better known for his work with cult director Ray Dennis Steckler in Las Vegas Serial Killer and The Hollywood Strangler Meets the Skid Row Slasher. As seedy as it all is, Help Me...I'm Possessed is so unrelentingly unusual that it never gets dull, and every five or ten minutes some new absurdity takes this wildly colorful spook show into a deeper, weirder place. Those in search of unique cinematic experiences should keep an eye out for this worthy obscurity, which also goes under the amended moniker The Possessed. FRED BELDIN